Category Archives: review


Image via Wikipedia

I saw Spectre when it came out, but never got around to writing the review – probably because I tend to write my reviews on the couch where I can push pause and make some notes. Harder to do that in a movie theater! But I thought I would cross one big item off my to-do list for 2017 and get the reviews finally up to date! -Eira

Plot in twenty words or less: The world’s intelligence services are duped into a global surveillance system run by an international crime syndicate.

How it’s aged: Spectre only came out in 2015, and it certainly seems quite contemporary (surveillance technology – specifically DRONES! – and signal intelligence as a replacement for human intelligence). But in the context of watching this again post-Brexit and the entire upside-down chaos of the last couple years, M’s awkward (and overly-romantic) defense of the 00-program as not just a superior approach to intelligence, but as a bulwark against the anti-democratic surveillance state seems a little…. dubious, to me.

At the same time, it is pretty interesting and a bit subversive by Bond standards that the movie makes the point that surveillance states play into the hands of terrorists – and in this case, it’s the terrorist organization that is designing and selling the global intelligence system that M’s nemesis, C, is hellbent on strong-arming the world’s superpowers into using for international intelligence sharing.

I forget whether I’ve discussed this in previous posts, but there are some intriguing theories around what the Bond series represents as a multi-decade cultural phenomenon, and my favorite one is that Bond represents the end of the British empire. As a post-colonial power, what is Britain’s role in the world? How does Bond personify that? Following this line of thinking, the depersonalization of intelligence apparatus from that of a white guy with a license to kill to a fleet of drones (also with a license to kill) doesn’t represent The Future Departing From The Past so much as it represents The Past Dressed Up as The Future.

Something that was just weird and/or WTF y’all: When Bond and Dr Swann break into the secret room in the Americain Inn in Tangier and find the old ~*~*~DUSTY~*~*~ satellite phone computer console…how….did it….power….up? I love how in movies old electronic devices just TURN RIGHT ON, if that happened in my life as a digital archivist, my life would be much easier.

Another annoying thing: surely British intelligence files don’t just use a newspaper story as proof of death?! But they kept saying THE FILES SAY OBERHAUSER IS DEAD!!! (oh wait, nevermind, he’s alive under an assumed name!) Did no one try to get a coroner’s report? (Though I guess Blofeld could have fabricated that and planted it too)

Obligatory feminist commentary: Bond starts out the movie on a mission sent from beyond-the-grave-Judi-Dench’s-M, and would not have been able to complete critical parts without assistance from Moneypenny and Dr Swann. There is a pretty excruciating scene at the end where Blofeld taunts 007 in front of Dr Swann that every woman he’s loved in his recent life has died, which I’m sure you can spin out somehow into the aforementioned symbolism of Bond-as-postcolonial-symbolism.

Completely hypothetical cultural reference points: Not at all hypothetical, but Sam Mendes seems to be keeping up the tradition of throwback Bond references. The most obvious one in this movie was Blofeld’s mean looking white cat. But I was scratching my head because I think there was another movie back in the day where Bond and a female guest were essentially prisoners in a hotel and given special clothes to wear.

Superficial Thing that did not Amuse Me: When Bond and Dr Swann jumped out of the old MI6 headquarters, how the hell was there such a convenient net at the bottom to break their fall?!?!

Superficial Thing that highly Amused Me: It’s been a while since we had a good alpine scene in a Bond movie. I thoroughly enjoyed the updating of it by Q working on his laptop in a ski lift – the only thing he was missing were some hex stickers.

Interesting and possibly dubious thing I learned from Wikipedia: Spectre made a comeback because Eon finally settled an intellectual property claim case around its use. Also, the opening scene with the giant parade in Mexico City is pretty incredible and made me miss New Orleans’ parade culture like crazy, but according to the ‘pedia, no such central Día de Muertos parade existed in Mexico City until the city officials capitalized on Spectre and put one on in 2016 (!!)

Martini rating: Six martinis martini-glass-1-32px_blogjamesblogmartini-glass-1-32px_blogjamesblogmartini-glass-1-32px_blogjamesblogmartini-glass-1-32px_blogjamesblogmartini-glass-1-32px_blogjamesblogmartini-glass-1-32px_blogjamesblog

Administrative information concerning this viewing:

Drinks consumed: Red wine
Food eaten: Cheese, crackers, jam, homemade bread
Viewed on: December 31, 2017 (Happy New Year!!)
Viewing Partner: Husband and Cat (yes, between this review and reviewing Skyfall, Fiance is now Husband!)
Posted in review. Tagged with .


Image via Wikipedia

Well here we are, friends. The last Bond review I’ll have to crank out until the new theatrical release (oh, you thought this whole thing was over? think again! but now you’ll have to go two years between updates or however long it takes for each subsequent release). It only took me just under a couple years to get from Dr. No to this point. Skyfall is actually a really great movie to end this phase of the blog — it’s so self-referential to several previous Bond movies that I think I appreciated it more this time around than the first time I saw it in theaters.

The first sound starts with the opening strain of the Bond theme. And the pre-credits chase scene is Bond 101, with a beautiful woman conveniently driving up a getaway car while KNOCKING OVER ALL THE MARKET STANDS!! And although we’ve come to expect parkour with Daniel Craig, this time we get MOTORCYCLE-PARKOUR!

Adele is such a perfect pick for the Bond theme song — definitely reminiscent of Shirley Bassey in a way I don’t think we’ve heard since… Shirley Bassey.

I’m not sure which reintroduction makes me happier – Moneypenny or Q. Although no one can replace my beloved Desmond Llewellyn, and I fear with new-Q’s quip that exploding pens are a thing of the past, we won’t see any more weirdly dorky gadgets again.

Plot in twenty words or less: A former agent gone rogue is behind the leak of several MI6 agent names. It’s the most self-referential Bond movie.

How it’s aged: This is almost a very silly question to ask, and it’s hard to think about how this movie will be perceived in the future. But the first thing that struck me is that it is very “of its time” — when M sees how her computer has been compromised, she gets a sort of video that seems vaguely inspired by a meme you might see from a mild stew of Anonymous/chan culture/the places on Reddit you’re routinely warned to avoid. Then the terrorist cell starts leaking videos to YouTube — also very familiar.

Random thought — as we’re seeing Bond delve more into the word of what’s arguably signal intelligence, does this mean GCHQ would begin to play a role in the Bond world? I know very little (read: nothing beyond what I can find on Wikipedia) about British security/intelligence apparatus, but in real life would all of the intelligence work we see depicted in Skyfall really happen in the wheelhouse of MI6?

I wonder if it was really weird for British folks to watch all the mayhem happening with the Tube considering the 2005 London attacks deliberately targeted the city’s transportation system.

Something that was just weird and/or WTF y’all: I originally put this in the feminist commentary category, but moved it up here, because there’s precedent for talking about “Bond’s issues with consent and boundaries” in the WTF category:

Ugh, so we’re going to have to get the most problematic scene out of the way first. The rape-y shower scene. And the fact that Bond knows Severin was sold into prostitution as a young child makes it extra jacked up. I don’t really know what else to say about this scene except it really sucks and casts a real shadow on what is otherwise an almost pitch perfect Bond movie.

Obligatory feminist commentary:  Now on to the better stuff.

I really don’t think there’s enough digital ink spilled on the very tender relationship between Judi-Dench-M and Bond. My old boss and I used to talk about this (hi Lee, I know you read this!) and I think it’s a really underrated aspect of Daniel Craig’s turn as Bond. I don’t recall M having any children, and when Bond is addressing her, to my American ears it often sounds more like “Mum” than “M.” When Bond shows up at M’s apartment in Casino Royale, M tells him if he ever does that again she’ll have him killed, but when he does it again in Skyfall, she doesn’t tell him anything except not to sleep there tonight. It’s sort of like Bond knows that however badly he effs up, however lost he gets, he can always stop by the closest thing resembling home. I tend to be a movie-crier, and so I’m sure I probably weeped at M’s death when I first saw this in theaters (and I got a little misty-eyed on re-watch). I have faith in Ralph Fiennes at the new M, but I don’t see him having quite the same connection with Bond.

To say that I am excited by the seeming rehabilitation of Moneypenny, played by Naomie Harris, would be quite an understatement. And luckily it looks like she’ll be around in Spectre. I think her character could be really phenomenal, and I’m keeping my fingers crossed.

Completely hypothetical cultural reference points: When Gareth says “we no longer operate in the shadows,” this seems to be a direct reference to Stella Rimington’s (famous archivist, former MI5 head, and allegedly the inspiration for Judi Dench’s portrayal of M) efforts to be more transparent about MI5.

Also I think the scene in which Dench testifies before a committee is reminiscent of the final scene in The Godfather, which cuts between scenes of unfolding terror and scenes of major gravitas.

Superficial Thing that did not Amuse Me: It’s always really bothered me that you never really see how Bond survives his fall from the train.

Superficial Thing that highly Amused Me: Radio as a useful gadget! What’ll they think of next?! I like the way Bond plays this when the helicopters come to his rescue.

Interesting and possibly dubious thing I learned from Wikipedia: For about half a second Sean Connery was considered for the part of Kincade. Also, Silva’s island lair was inspired by this Japanese island which has a pretty interesting history.

Martini rating: Seven martinis!!! martini-glass-1-32px_blogjamesblogmartini-glass-1-32px_blogjamesblogmartini-glass-1-32px_blogjamesblogmartini-glass-1-32px_blogjamesblogmartini-glass-1-32px_blogjamesblogmartini-glass-1-32px_blogjamesblogmartini-glass-1-32px_blogjamesblog

Administrative information concerning this viewing:

Drinks consumed: Hot tea and Sam Adams White Christmas

Food eaten: Leftover bibimbap

Viewed on: January 18, 2015

Viewing Partner: The Fiance and The Cat


Posted in review. Tagged with .

Quantum of Solace

Image via Wikipedia

So if you’ve ever doubted whether screen writers are worth the dough, or whether you could really just throw a bunch of monkeys on typewriters in a room and get a movie script, look no further than Quantum of Solace. Famous for having a half-baked script thanks to the 2007-2008 writers strike, this movie often ends up in many people’s worst Bond movies list. Look, this isn’t anywhere close to the top 10 Bond films, but I certainly wouldn’t place it at the bottom either. That said, let’s make sure the screen writers don’t have to go on strike again, because a “meh” Bond film is always a sad waste of 100 minutes.

Plot in twenty words or less:  The head of a criminal organization dedicated to overthrowing governments in developing countries is also behind a water privatization scheme

How it’s aged: The first post-credits scene in which the guy was about to be interrogated felt very much like some scenes from several post 9/11 movies or documentaries. Also thought it interesting that there were shots of the crowd minutes after Bond and the guy he was pursuing ran through because you rarely see the after-effects of Bond chase scenes collateral damage.

Something that was just weird and/or WTF y’all: How did Bond get his tux? It seems like he lifted it from an opera performer’s locker, but did he actually have a tux as his costume? Didn’t look like it from the scenes we caught of Tosca

Obligatory feminist commentary: I really appreciated the tender scene of Bond holding Matthis while he was dying, and it struck me that we see this again in Skyfall. Even though Craig is often credited with having an anti-hero swagger, I think he has an inner interior life we only really begin to appreciate in Skyfall. Building on the themes of M as a (reluctant) family figure… When Camille asks whether Greene tried to kill his mother, Bond replies “She’d like to think so” obviously referring to M.

I was trying to remember — I’m not sure if we’ve had any women acting out revenge narratives until now? On final reflection, this was the least amount of sexy times I’ve ever seen in a Bond movie — just some implied romps with Strawberry Fields and a chaste kiss with Camille at the end. Was he still nursing his sadness for Vesper or was it just because this script was a first draft (at best!)…?

Completely hypothetical cultural reference points: M’s debriefer is the Prime Minister from the first episode of Black Mirror. Also, did anyone else think the toppling of caskets off the top of the truck in Port Au Prince was an homage to the New Orleans funeral scene in Live and Let Die…? Obviously Strawberry Fields drowning in oil is the biggest self-referential scene of all time, back to Goldfinger.

Isn’t there another Bond movie where a bunch of people leave in the middle of some big public event? Or maybe some dystopian movie that came out in the last few years? Perhaps I’m having deja vu. I trawled the TV Tropes website in hopes of finding an answer, but came up short. If anyone can solve this riddle for me, I’d be grateful.

Superficial Thing that did not Amuse Me:  How the hell do they free fall through the air out of an airplane and Camille’s high heels are still on?

Superficial Thing that highly Amused Me: Love that M called the Americans’ bluff right away when they said Dominic Greene was not a person of interest — and in the next scene we see the American section chief meeting with him while Felix looks on. No matter how much sheen the American Empire loses, the Brits will never let us forget our inferiority when it comes to Bond movies.

Interesting and possibly dubious thing I learned from Wikipedia:  Amy Winehouse recorded a demo track for the movie

Martini rating:  Three martinis (under this guiding philosophy) martini-glass-1-32px_blogjamesblogmartini-glass-1-32px_blogjamesblogmartini-glass-1-32px_blogjamesblog

Administrative information concerning this viewing:
Drinks consumed: Sam Adams Old Fezziwig ale
Food eaten: Leftover soup
Viewed on: January 4, 2015
Viewing Partner: The Fiance and the cat

Posted in review. Tagged with .

Casino Royale

Image via Wikipedia

Image via Wikipedia

So. I am an unapologetic Daniel Craig fan. My only issue with him is that he makes me slightly misty for the quippiness of earlier Bonds like Roger Moore. But aside from that, he’s perfect. Earlier in the movie, Bond mentions he’s aware 00-agents have short life spans, which reminds me of the question of the continuity theory… but I’ll leave that continuing debate to the more passionate Bond fans.

The only downside to this movie is it’s just too damn long. Look, the world does not need a Bond movie that’s over 90 minutes. I wish the movie and publishing industry in general would realize that even in our oft-distracted culture, longer does not mean better. And what better place to turn the trend back to concision with the Bond franchise. One can hope, but Skyfall was also over 2 hours, so perhaps I shouldn’t hold my breath any time soon.

Plot in twenty words or less:  If Bond botches this big time poker game, the terrorists are going to win. Literally.

How it’s aged: This Bond is very post-9/11 War on Terror, especially when Bond taps into some NSA-like system to search “Ellipsis” in call/text log metadata, then M says that the administration doesn’t want to know what they do, just that they want them to do the dirty work. Sound familiar? The Bond torture scene when he finds out Mathis is a double-agent is very Guantanamo Bay/Abu Ghraib

I love the scene where Felix offers to stake 007 and turns down potential winnings — “Does it look like we need the money?” THANKS, AMERICA. It’s nice to see a cooler Felix.

Something that was just weird and/or WTF y’all: In the opening cobra vs. ferret scene, there’s totally a blond white surfer dude in the crowd of locals and it doesn’t appear to be a tourist destination..?

Obligatory feminist commentary: If I recall correctly (and this has been a long ride, so my memory isn’t infallible…) I believe this is the first time we see M’s apartment, when Bond breaks in. Without a doubt, Judi Dench will go down in Bond history as making M an actually interesting character as opposed to just window dressing. I do think showing M’s apartment is something that only happened for the first time because M was played by a woman in this particular title (insert feminist commentary here about the separate spheres of female life, the apartment as interior life, etc etc).

And then… OH MAH GAWD, James Bond said he loves someone! (to Vesper towards the end). And then a few scenes later he says he took care of “the bitch.” No matter how empowered Bond women get, ultimately they’re still all too often objects that get in the way of a clean mission. Which is why if the Broccoli family ever really wants to conduct a massive pop culture experiment in gender roles, they’d cast a woman as the next James Bond.

Completely hypothetical cultural reference points: Demetrios’ 1964 Aston-Martin key being put on the table at a poker game brings up shades of 60s Sean Connery Bond, and the end is very shades of On Her Majesty’s Secret Service.

Le Chiffre’s use of the inhaler reminds me of Dennis Hopper using the oxygen tank from Blue Velvet

Superficial Thing that did not Amuse Me:  When Vesper was crying in the shower, why was her makeup perfect?

Superficial Thing that highly Amused Me:  When the guy was going through Miami security, RICHARD BRANSON was totally being screened next to him. I made my Fiance go back and we rewatched the scene to be sure. If you don’t believe me, Google it.

Interesting and possibly dubious thing I learned from Wikipedia: Quentin Tarantino claimed to play a role in getting the movie off the ground.

Martini rating: Seven martinis martini-glass-1-32px_blogjamesblogmartini-glass-1-32px_blogjamesblogmartini-glass-1-32px_blogjamesblogmartini-glass-1-32px_blogjamesblogmartini-glass-1-32px_blogjamesblogmartini-glass-1-32px_blogjamesblogmartini-glass-1-32px_blogjamesblog

Administrative information concerning this viewing:

Drinks consumed: Great Lakes Oktoberfest

Food eaten: Stir-fried tofu with cabbage and carrots

Viewed on: November 22

Viewing Partner: The Fiance and the cat


Posted in review. Tagged with .

Die Another Day

Die another Day - UK cinema poster.jpg

Image via Wikipedia






Die another Day – UK cinema poster” by Intralink Film Graphic Design – Source. Licensed under Fair use via Wikipedia.

If I’m not mistaken, this was the first post 9/11 Bond film — was North Korea sufficiently “Axis of Evil” enough without being too close to Middle East terrorism? When M meets Bond in the abandoned train station, she mentions much had changed in the world during his imprisonment — is this a reference to 9/11? In addition, this movie feels much more militaristic than the past — especially in the command room scene, and when Bond and Jinx are running around in camo.

Plot in twenty words or less: North Korea’s interest in blood diamonds are interrupted by dudes swapping their entire genetic material

How it’s aged: Well for 2014, the storyline of a North Korean dictator’s insane power-hungry son is certainly still on point.

Something that was just weird and/or WTF y’all: The real sword fight initiated by Graves upped the WTF-ante many levels

Obligatory feminist commentary: Does M essentially tell Frost to sleep with other agents — including Bond — as part of her job? Is Frost the first double-agent we’ve seen? I thought the scene with Bond reviving Jinx from near-death was actually one of the most tender scenes we’ve seen from Bond in a long, long time.

I love how Frost attacks Jinx in only her bra, and then Jinx removes her jacket for the sword fight. And then Jinx finishes her off by saying, “Read this, BITCH” as she pins the Art of War to Frost. Did a junior high boy wrote this scene?

Completely hypothetical cultural reference points:  The laser on Jinx is straight from Goldfinger, and I also think her bikini is definitely meant to remind us of Honey Ryder from Dr No. There were some other references to previous Bond films I didn’t catch, apparently.

Superficial Thing that did not Amuse Me: I really hated the background scenes of Bond being tortured as part of the opening credits. Also, there were noticeably bad special effects, and slow-motion effects.

Superficial Thing that highly Amused Me: I think MI6 surfers are a new addition to the Bond franchise…

Interesting and possibly dubious thing I learned from Wikipedia: Halle Berry had an eye operation during filming because of flying debris

Martini rating: Four martinis martini-glass-1-32px_blogjamesblogmartini-glass-1-32px_blogjamesblogmartini-glass-1-32px_blogjamesblogmartini-glass-1-32px_blogjamesblog

Administrative information concerning this viewing:

Drinks consumed: N/A

Food eaten: N/A (boring I know!)

Viewed on: October 25-26

Viewing Partner: The cat

*Not her real name. All my viewing buddies are getting Bond-girl aliases.


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The World is Not Enough

The World Is Not Enough (UK cinema poster).jpg
The World Is Not Enough (UK cinema poster)” Via Wikipedia.

The most underwhelming movie I’ve watched in a long time. Three martinis, no doubt. However, I’ve decided a 3-martini rating is actually the worst score I can give a movie. Hear me out — you’ll recall I’ve never actually given a 1-martini, since that’s reserved for movies so bad I literally cannot finish them (I believe this is actually a stronger stance than I outlined previously). I don’t quit (despite what the long gaps between reviews might suggest), so the movies that are bad but still semi-sufferable get 2 martinis. At least these movies are memorable for being utterly stupid.

But a 3-martini rating means a movie is so mediocre as to be entirely forgettable. When I was considering giving this a 3-martini rating, I asked, “Hmm, am I being too harsh?” So I looked at my other 3-martini rated movies. Even re-reading the reviews hardly helped jog my memory, and I anticipate I’ll have a similar memory of this movie in about 72 hours.

There’s way too much going on in TWINE. I’m going to be a bit reductionist here and say that if you try to build a really complicated plot into a James Bond movie, yer doin’ it wrong. There’s a reason this Wikipedia page exists. I had difficulty getting several things straight in this movie, and sort of stopped giving a shit about it after the first third. And after Michelle Yeoh’s A-M-A-Z-I-N-G turn as a Bond girl in the last movie, Denise Richards’ role was… well, to be diplomatic, WTF?

Plot in twenty words or less: There’s an excellent boat chase scene. Then someone tries to mess with a potential oil pipeline.

How it’s aged: Oil pipelines through former Soviet territories — seems pretty contemporary to me considering Putin’s shenanigans.

Something that was just weird and/or WTF y’all: Desmond Llewellyn had the weirdest, somber “Goodbye” of all time :( I’m going to miss him, and I thought he deserved to go out with more of a flourish (and then there’s this sad ending)

Obligatory feminist commentary: Lots to choose from here. Bond’s X-ray glasses = literally the male gaze & TSA! Renard comments about raping Elektra while she was being held captive and “breaking her in.” The scene with M and Elektra still fails the Bechdel test because they’re talking about 007. And then there is that weird sadomasochism thing Elekra does to 007 on the garrote he’s shackled to — reminiscent of Xenia from GoldenEye.

Completely hypothetical cultural reference points: Dr Christmas Jones’ outfit was straight-up inspired by mid-90s Lara Croft, right y’all?

Superficial Thing that did not Amuse Me: When Bond was cuffed to the garrote, wasn’t he cuffed by both hands? The guy only shot off one cuff, Bond managed to undo the neck lock, and then he was…free? What about the other cuff?

Superficial Thing that highly Amused Me: John Cleese: “Premature form of the Millennium bug!” I look forward to how we’re going to have to explain the Y2K paranoia into the future…

Also, loved seeing the “MI6 Research Archive” at the top of the computer screen when Bond was looking up information. Digital archives, onward! I want to know if means the OAIS specification

Interesting and possibly dubious thing I learned from Wikipedia: Peter Jackson was almost the director.

Martini rating: Three martinis martini-glass-1-32px_blogjamesblogmartini-glass-1-32px_blogjamesblogmartini-glass-1-32px_blogjamesblog

Administrative information concerning this viewing:
Drinks consumed: N/A
Food eaten: N/A
Viewed on: September 21, 2014
Viewing Partner: Fiance and Cat

Posted in review. Tagged with .

Tomorrow Never Dies

Tomorrow Never Dies (UK cinema poster).jpg
Tomorrow Never Dies (UK cinema poster)” Via Wikipedia.

I really have no idea why so many people dog on Tomorrow Never Dies. In my opinion, it’s one of the best Bond movies, and has easily moved up into my top 5. The idea that it’s in anyone’s bottom 5 just tells me it’s been a long time since they’ve seen Diamonds are Forever, which will forever reset your yardstick for bad Bond movies. TND has a kick-ass Bond girl in Michelle Yeoh, hilarious chase scenes (the parking lot scene with the cell-phone controlled BMW is fantastic), wit without being noxious, and a solid villain for the 21st century.

Plot in twenty words or less: Welcome to the new public enemy No. 1 — THE MEDIA.

How it’s aged: This question is starting to feel a little silly now that we’ve generally left the Soviet Communist bloc behind. That said, I think this film’s evil villain, Elliott Carver — a clear homage to Rupert Murdoch, who was deep in British media long before this film — will feel relevant for a long, long time.

Something that was just weird and/or WTF y’all: Why are there posters of Carver’s face everywhere? At the satellite party, at the newspaper printing factory… We get the dude is an egomaniac, but this seems excessive. Though it did remind me slightly of a particular book cover, and it looks like I’m not alone in thinking this.

Obligatory feminist commentary: Right after one of the British military dudes yells at M for not having the balls for the job, the man escalates it to WE GOTTA ATTACK and M is like MODERATION, YOU GUYS. It’s such a transparent attempt to bully her, but she isn’t taking those shenanigans! And I love Lin (Michelle Yeoh) as the Bond girl — she’s very much 007’s equal.

Completely hypothetical cultural reference points: Let’s be real y’all: Henry Gupta totally looks like noted philosopher and infamous jerk-dude Slavoj Žižek.

Superficial Thing that did not Amuse Me: How was it they couldn’t use a sledgehammer against the BMW but a spray of bullets was able to get through the glass when the chase scene started?

Superficial Thing that highly Amused Me: They keep saying G-P-S very deliberately. Obviously this was before everyone knew what this was. Still funny.

Interesting and possibly dubious thing I learned from Wikipedia: One of the potential titles was originally Tomorrow Never Lies, but due to a fax error  it appeared as Tomorrow Never Dies, becoming the top choice of the studio people.

Martini rating: SEVEN MARTINIS! martini-glass-1-32px_blogjamesblogmartini-glass-1-32px_blogjamesblogmartini-glass-1-32px_blogjamesblogmartini-glass-1-32px_blogjamesblogmartini-glass-1-32px_blogjamesblogmartini-glass-1-32px_blogjamesblogmartini-glass-1-32px_blogjamesblog

Administrative information concerning this viewing:

Drinks consumed: Great Lakes Oktoberfest

Food eaten: Kohlrabi-zucchini fritters, roasted red pepper and garlic puree on toast

Viewed on: September 7, 2014

Viewing Partner: Fiance and Cat


Posted in review. Tagged with .


GoldenEye - UK cinema poster.jpg
GoldenEye – UK cinema poster“. Via Wikipedia.

…And we’re off into the Pierce Brosnan Bond-era! But some things still stay the same, because we can still rely on those evil Russian Commies to fill our bad-guy dance card. Pierce Brosnan-Bond is also squarely within the late 80s/early 90s TOTAL ACTION MOVIE!!! genre. I mean, his falling speed is enough so that he can tumble into a plane going down and rescue it? I don’t even think this is something that Timothy Dalton would have thought a good idea. The continuity theory of Bond comes up again, when after the credits we see the movie is set “9 years later.”

Plot in twenty words or less: Alan Cumming plays a deranged, pervy Russian hacker. What else do you need to know?

How it’s aged: One of the most memorable lines is “Maybe you can finish debriefing each other at Guantanamo” — clearly spoken before everyone knew the post 9/11-Gitmo.

Something that was just weird and/or WTF y’all: They’re obviously trying to bring back a lot of the quippy early Bond humor. I don’t know how well Brosnan can pull that off…

Obligatory feminist commentary: Between forgettable-Natalya, terrifying-Xenia, and badass-M, there’s a lot of feminist analysis to throw down on. There’s a not-at-all subtle commentary about how Bond has entered a real ball-breaking era — figuratively when M says she has the cojones to send him to his death if need be, but also quite literally with Xenia’s absurd thigh-maneuvers. It probably won’t surprise any readers of this blog that I’m a diehard Judi Dench-as-M fan, so I’m pretty darn excited about her arrival. Fun fact: Judi Dench’s M is based on Stella Rimington who totally started her career as an archivist — my own occupation. I always thought that if it weren’t for my lefty politics, I’d make a damn good secret agent. Archivists are pretty good at reading between the lines…

Completely hypothetical cultural reference points: There are lots of 1990s-esque touchstones in this movie. The most obvious ones were Xenia’s Monica-esque hairstyle, and her smoking a cigar was reminiscent of the 1990s revival of cigar use (remember the First Wives Club poster?)

Superficial Thing that did not Amuse Me: The annoying American CIA agent who wouldn’t stop calling 007 Jimmy/Jimbo. Ugh, go away.

Superficial Thing that highly Amused Me: There’s a great scene set in what appears to be a government archives when Bond and Natalya break out and then commence the tank chase scene. I’m ready for James Bond to go whole-hog and dig around in the archives to turn up some juicy leads. Archives in movies, always a winning combination.

Interesting and possibly dubious thing I learned from Wikipedia: The opening scene’s bungee jump “set a record for the highest bungee jump off a fixed structure”

Martini rating: Five martinis martini-glass-1-32px_blogjamesblogmartini-glass-1-32px_blogjamesblogmartini-glass-1-32px_blogjamesblogmartini-glass-1-32px_blogjamesblogmartini-glass-1-32px_blogjamesblog

Administrative information concerning this viewing: 
Drinks consumed: Sierra Nevada Summer ale
Food eaten: Steamed green beans and this awesome beet and bean veggie burger.
Viewed on: July 19, 2014
Viewing Partner: Fiance and the Cat
*Not her real name. All my viewing buddies are getting Bond-girl aliases.

Posted in review. Tagged with .

Licence to Kill

Licence to Kill - UK cinema poster.jpg
Licence to Kill – UK cinema poster“. Via Wikipedia.

Bye bye Timothy Dalton. The general opinion on TD in our household is that he’s nowhere near as bad as people try to make him out to be, but we’re ready for the Pierce Brosnan era. I think I’ve mentioned before that I have yet to see a Brosnan film, and several people have told me that GoldenEye is legitimately good, so I’m looking forward to moving on.

This film is definitely the better of the two Timothy Dalton films. In it, we also revisit the continuity theory (there is a reference to Bond’s former wife), however, with Felix losing part of his leg, you’d think that would come up again in future movies…. something we’ll have to keep an eye out for.

All Bond movies must open and end with epic chase scenes, but this one has a particularly excellent ending scene — first, a semi drives several hundred feet tipped on its side! But wait folks, there’s more — then a SEMI POPS A WHEELIE OVER A FIERY INFERNO.

Plot in twenty words or less: James Bond goes rogue when he pursues the drug lord who tried to mess with his American buddy, Felix.

How it’s aged: There is a somewhat more diverse cast, but there’s still some dated and problematic language (“a deal with the Orientals”). The women are a bit better than some of the recent Bond movies — Bouvier is a great Bond girl.

Something that was just weird and/or WTF y’all: Why did Sanchez put diamonds on his iguana? Just because he could?

Obligatory feminist commentary: My bad note-taking skills fail me once again, but I believe Bond suggested Lupe enjoyed being a victim of relationship abuse. Also, Q basically straight up tells Bouvier that Bond has to use “every means at his disposal” including tangling in the sheets with other women.

Completely hypothetical cultural reference points: Not hypothetical at all here — Bond drops a big obvious reference to “A Farewell to Arms” at the Hemingway House when he tenders his resignation to M as he gets ready to go rogue.

Also, James refers to Bouvier as Miss Kennedy, presumably a reference to Camelot’s Jacqueline.

Superficial Thing that did not Amuse Me: The scene where the guy gets butted with the end of the rifle in the van after the wedding, and it’s PRETTY OBVIOUS they painted the butt of the gun to leave a print (“bruise”) on his face

Superficial Thing that highly Amused Me: During the bar fight scene, the taxidermied marlin is pulled off the wall as a spear. Best Bond movie weapon to date!

Interesting and possibly dubious thing I learned from Wikipedia: Licence to Kill was the first Bond movie that did not have any filming done in the UK

Martini rating:  Five martinis martini-glass-1-32px_blogjamesblogmartini-glass-1-32px_blogjamesblogmartini-glass-1-32px_blogjamesblogmartini-glass-1-32px_blogjamesblogmartini-glass-1-32px_blogjamesblog

Administrative information concerning this viewing:
Drinks consumed: Deschutes beer
Food eaten: Egg and red pepper scramble
Viewed on: July 5, 2014
Viewing Partner: Fiance and the Cat

Posted in review. Tagged with .

The Living Daylights

Perhaps one of my worst habits with this blog — besides not being timely about watching all the Bonds in the first place — is my growing tendency to not write the reviews right away. As a result, I come back to notes I took during the movie and see things like:

House on wheels!


Milk bottles==bombs

…and I have no idea what the major plot points were. Yeah. So sorry if this review is a little disjointed, folks. I’m going to get back on track with the blog, really. Just gotta get through T.D., and then we’re on to Pierce Brosnan. It may shock longtime ATB readers that I’ve never watched any of the Dalton or Brosnan movies, but that was a huge motivation for doing this project in the first place — to have real bona fides during tipsy bar-guments ranking the best to worst Bonds.

First impression of Timothy Dalton: Dude doesn’t look like Bond. I made the mistake of saying this out loud, and  Fiance argued that No Way, He Totally Looks Like Jon Hamm. I guess he could be right.

Plot in twenty words or less: A cello player is not who she appears to be, and Bond continues to protect the West from the Soviets.

How it’s aged: Like many Bond movies, this one does not lack for KGB agents, glimpses of the hammer and sickle, and the occasional poster of Lenin. That alone, of course, does not age a Bond movie because the majority were made while the Soviet Union still existed. And this brings me to a random thought I had during the movie — how come so many Bond movies prominently feature THE SOVIETS!!! but none of the recent Bond films explicitly tie terrorist villains to Al Qaeda? Of course, if anything dated this movie, it was the reminder that the mujahedin were once upon a time seen as the good dudes, before they became the dudes better know as the Taliban.

Something that was just weird and/or WTF y’all: There was a scene when Bond ripped a lady’s clothes off in a pretty rapey manner. Problematic, dude.

Obligatory feminist commentary: This was the first Eon film in which Lois Maxwell did not play Moneypenny. I have mixed feelings about that, especially in light of the fact that wonderful Desmond Llewellyn was still around with his gloriously Andy Rooney-like eyebrows. It seems like in the Bond landscape, women must be villains or sex objects until we get Judy Dench as M, which I guess is why her casting was such a BFD. Given that Moneypenny was turned into a frump over the last few movies, I can’t say I was shocked that they replaced her in this movie.

I’m generally fascinated with the changing role of Moneypenny, and this is the first time that I can recall where Moneypenny was more than a flirtation accessory to James (though she did drop that pretty awesome hint about listening to her Barry Manilow collection, lolz); she actually performed a minor research role for Bond’s mission. I’m looking forward to the evolution of Moneypenny, especially given her transformation at the end of Skyfall.

Completely hypothetical cultural reference points: I think it’s a law among movies that if someone has a valuable string instrument IT MUST BE A STRADIVARIUS!!!!#!@!! I saw that one coming from about 50 miles away.

Superficial Thing that did not Amuse Me: I know that we started getting into major product placement a while ago, but having Felix drinking Jim Bean was mildly uninspiring. Couldn’t he at least drink some Maker’s or something? It appears that Jim Beam has a long relationship with Bond.

Superficial Thing that highly Amused Me: Getaway scene by sledding in a cello case = brilliant.

Interesting and possibly dubious thing I learned from Wikipedia: Pierce Brosnan came quite close to landing the Bond role for this film

Martini rating: Three martinis martini-glass-1-32px_blogjamesblogmartini-glass-1-32px_blogjamesblogmartini-glass-1-32px_blogjamesblog

Administrative information concerning this viewing:
Drinks consumed: A Pimms-bourbon cooler with mint-thyme syrup (if it sounds odd, it’s because I made it up. It was drinkable)
Food eaten: Bulgur wheat, tomato and cucumber salad with crispy za’atar pita chips
Viewed on: June 8, 2014
Viewing Partner: Fiance + Cat

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