All the Bonds

The end of an era. The movie that took FOREVER to make. So many director changes. Then a pandemic. But it’s here and I saw it twice in order to write this review!

Plot in twenty words or less: Bond has trust issues and dies shortly after finding out he’s a father. Also the UK dabbles in biological weapons.

How it’s aged: This question was much more relevant when I was watching the old movies, but given how ridiculously long it took for this movie to come out, I think it’s still kind of a relevant question to ask. Part of me wonders if the sudden jump to “five years later” at the beginning of the film was to accommodate the lag time in filming? Or was that always going to be part of the storyline? How much of the biological weapon nanobots storyline had been written or filmed when the COVID-19 pandemic began?

Something that was just weird and/or WTF y’all: Q presumably has a very high security clearance. Do we think he can actually get into the MI6 computer system from his kitchen? Or does Q have a remote work option? Also, during the chase scenes with Bond, Madeleine and Mathilde in the car, my friend Birdie* leaned over and said “there is no way this kid would ever be this calm.”

Obligatory feminist commentary: The big PR buzz (two years ago!! that’s how long this movie has taken!!) around No Time To Die provoked a huge amount of obligatory feminist commentary already with the casting of Lashana Lynch as a 00 agent assigned as 007 after James Bond had presumably left MI6 service. This predictably provoked huge amounts of sexist and racist commentary from many Bond fans. I think what’s more interesting to think about is…. why did she ask M to give the 007 code name back to Bond before the mission to Safin’s island? The death of Bond at the end troubles the continuity theory, but I can’t help but wonder if her giving the code name back to Bond has something to do with character continuity or transitions in the next movie.

Completely hypothetical cultural reference points: The faceless groups of people in suits working to scoop around bits of stuff out of the water of the nuclear bunker was classic Cold War-era Bond.

Superficial Thing that did not Amuse Me: In the opening scene with Madeleine as a child, she is playing with some kind of thing that seems like an off-brand Tamagotchi. She is presumably in her thirties or maaaaaybe early forties placing the opening scene presumably in the late 1980s or early 1990s. The timing for this kind of childhood technology seems off to me.

Superficial Thing that highly Amused Me: Bond grabbing a martini from a tray at the Spectre party in Cuba, downing it, throwing the glass across the floor while storming out the building is a whole mood. It’s hard to make binge drinking look this cool.

Interesting and possibly dubious thing I learned from Wikipedia: Phoebe Waller-Bridge is only the second woman to have a Bond movie screenwriter credit – and the first since the Sean Connery era (!!). Daniel Craig requested her to do the script rewrite (!!!!).

Some closing thoughts on the end of the Daniel Craig era: Did you make it all the way to the end of this review? Congratulations. I bet if you read entire movie blog reviews by a total amateur, you have a 50/50 shot of also watching the end of the movie credits. In which case you’ll already know that at the end of the No Time To Die credits, the final screen rolls by assuring us, once again, that “JAMES BOND WILL RETURN.” Phew!!! I for one, am quite relieved because I’ve been a touch worried that this is truly the end of the Bond line and the Broccoli family was trying to put off telling everyone as long as possible.

Reader, I cried at the end of No Time To Die (both times). I didn’t read many spoilers and kept myself relatively in the dark about the plot, but I also knew Daniel Craig was going to be truly Done and my mom (who is living her best retirement life and doing things like seeing Bond movies in the middle of a Thursday while enjoying a $5 martini) warned me it was a tear jerker so I was relatively prepared to say goodbye. But I did not see the death of Felix Leiter coming in this movie, and that fucked me up. I think there are a lot of questions around whether the other prior movie background characters like M, Q, Moneypenny, and Tanner will be around in the next installment. With the death of Felix, this brings up huge questions for me. Or maybe the Brits are just sick of dealing with Americans.

I don’t have strong feelings about who the new Bond should be, except that I still feel that the next Bond needs a lighter touch. I always want Bond to have swagger, but please let the next one also have some joie de vivre and to make me laugh a little bit more often. Uh, maybe more women screenwriters could help with this? For some time I was Team Idris Elba for the new Bond, but I am slowly shifting to thinking we need a younger Bond for at least a 2-3 movie run. That said, I’m not super into Ralph Fiennes as M because Judi Dench set the bar so high, and Idris Elba might be the next best M since Judi Dench.

Saying goodbye to Daniel Craig as Bond feels momentous and sad, even if it’s very clearly time for a new Bond. Daniel Craig is my second favorite Bond (Roger Moore is King), and now holds the record as the longest-running Bond actor. I started this blog eight years ago during the Daniel Craig era, during a period in my life when I was living with a great deal of uncertainty about my future related to my career and finishing grad school and where I would live next. Starting the Bond blog and having my ritual of watching a movie every few weeks was a great anchor, but it also gave me a small sense of agency and control over one small bit of my life when I felt like so many aspects of my life were in the hands of others – a sense of frustration and alienation that Daniel Craig’s portrayal of Bond also frequently grappled with. I’ll miss Daniel Craig quite a bit. Cheers to what he does next, and to the new James Bond’s return.

Martini rating: Five martinis

Administrative information concerning this viewing:
Drinks consumed: Beer (Round 1 & Round 2)
Food eaten: Salad with grilled chicken (Round 1), Twizzlers (Round 2)
Viewed on: October 25 (Round 1), November 4 (Round 2)
Viewing Partner: Husband, Fausto Fildalgo Cide, Brigitte Mancrusher (Round 1), Birdie Bisous (Round 2)
*Not their real names. All my viewing buddies have chosen their Bond aliases.

Image via Wikipedia

Well here we are, friends. The last Bond review I’ll have to crank out until the new theatrical release (oh, you thought this whole thing was over? think again! but now you’ll have to go two years between updates or however long it takes for each subsequent release). It only took me just under a couple years to get from Dr. No to this point. Skyfall is actually a really great movie to end this phase of the blog — it’s so self-referential to several previous Bond movies that I think I appreciated it more this time around than the first time I saw it in theaters.

The first sound starts with the opening strain of the Bond theme. And the pre-credits chase scene is Bond 101, with a beautiful woman conveniently driving up a getaway car while KNOCKING OVER ALL THE MARKET STANDS!! And although we’ve come to expect parkour with Daniel Craig, this time we get MOTORCYCLE-PARKOUR!

Adele is such a perfect pick for the Bond theme song — definitely reminiscent of Shirley Bassey in a way I don’t think we’ve heard since… Shirley Bassey.

I’m not sure which reintroduction makes me happier – Moneypenny or Q. Although no one can replace my beloved Desmond Llewellyn, and I fear with new-Q’s quip that exploding pens are a thing of the past, we won’t see any more weirdly dorky gadgets again.

Plot in twenty words or less: A former agent gone rogue is behind the leak of several MI6 agent names. It’s the most self-referential Bond movie.

How it’s aged: This is almost a very silly question to ask, and it’s hard to think about how this movie will be perceived in the future. But the first thing that struck me is that it is very “of its time” — when M sees how her computer has been compromised, she gets a sort of video that seems vaguely inspired by a meme you might see from a mild stew of Anonymous/chan culture/the places on Reddit you’re routinely warned to avoid. Then the terrorist cell starts leaking videos to YouTube — also very familiar.

Random thought — as we’re seeing Bond delve more into the word of what’s arguably signal intelligence, does this mean GCHQ would begin to play a role in the Bond world? I know very little (read: nothing beyond what I can find on Wikipedia) about British security/intelligence apparatus, but in real life would all of the intelligence work we see depicted in Skyfall really happen in the wheelhouse of MI6?

I wonder if it was really weird for British folks to watch all the mayhem happening with the Tube considering the 2005 London attacks deliberately targeted the city’s transportation system.

Something that was just weird and/or WTF y’all: I originally put this in the feminist commentary category, but moved it up here, because there’s precedent for talking about “Bond’s issues with consent and boundaries” in the WTF category:

Ugh, so we’re going to have to get the most problematic scene out of the way first. The rape-y shower scene. And the fact that Bond knows Severin was sold into prostitution as a young child makes it extra jacked up. I don’t really know what else to say about this scene except it really sucks and casts a real shadow on what is otherwise an almost pitch perfect Bond movie.

Obligatory feminist commentary:  Now on to the better stuff.

I really don’t think there’s enough digital ink spilled on the very tender relationship between Judi-Dench-M and Bond. My old boss and I used to talk about this (hi Lee, I know you read this!) and I think it’s a really underrated aspect of Daniel Craig’s turn as Bond. I don’t recall M having any children, and when Bond is addressing her, to my American ears it often sounds more like “Mum” than “M.” When Bond shows up at M’s apartment in Casino Royale, M tells him if he ever does that again she’ll have him killed, but when he does it again in Skyfall, she doesn’t tell him anything except not to sleep there tonight. It’s sort of like Bond knows that however badly he effs up, however lost he gets, he can always stop by the closest thing resembling home. I tend to be a movie-crier, and so I’m sure I probably weeped at M’s death when I first saw this in theaters (and I got a little misty-eyed on re-watch). I have faith in Ralph Fiennes at the new M, but I don’t see him having quite the same connection with Bond.

To say that I am excited by the seeming rehabilitation of Moneypenny, played by Naomie Harris, would be quite an understatement. And luckily it looks like she’ll be around in Spectre. I think her character could be really phenomenal, and I’m keeping my fingers crossed.

Completely hypothetical cultural reference points: When Gareth says “we no longer operate in the shadows,” this seems to be a direct reference to Stella Rimington’s (famous archivist, former MI5 head, and allegedly the inspiration for Judi Dench’s portrayal of M) efforts to be more transparent about MI5.

Also I think the scene in which Dench testifies before a committee is reminiscent of the final scene in The Godfather, which cuts between scenes of unfolding terror and scenes of major gravitas.

Superficial Thing that did not Amuse Me: It’s always really bothered me that you never really see how Bond survives his fall from the train.

Superficial Thing that highly Amused Me: Radio as a useful gadget! What’ll they think of next?! I like the way Bond plays this when the helicopters come to his rescue.

Interesting and possibly dubious thing I learned from Wikipedia: For about half a second Sean Connery was considered for the part of Kincade. Also, Silva’s island lair was inspired by this Japanese island which has a pretty interesting history.

Martini rating: Seven martinis!!!

Administrative information concerning this viewing:

Drinks consumed: Hot tea and Sam Adams White Christmas

Food eaten: Leftover bibimbap

Viewed on: January 18, 2015

Viewing Partner: The Fiance and The Cat

Image via Wikipedia

So if you’ve ever doubted whether screen writers are worth the dough, or whether you could really just throw a bunch of monkeys on typewriters in a room and get a movie script, look no further than Quantum of Solace. Famous for having a half-baked script thanks to the 2007-2008 writers strike, this movie often ends up in many people’s worst Bond movies list. Look, this isn’t anywhere close to the top 10 Bond films, but I certainly wouldn’t place it at the bottom either. That said, let’s make sure the screen writers don’t have to go on strike again, because a “meh” Bond film is always a sad waste of 100 minutes.

Plot in twenty words or less:  The head of a criminal organization dedicated to overthrowing governments in developing countries is also behind a water privatization scheme

How it’s aged: The first post-credits scene in which the guy was about to be interrogated felt very much like some scenes from several post 9/11 movies or documentaries. Also thought it interesting that there were shots of the crowd minutes after Bond and the guy he was pursuing ran through because you rarely see the after-effects of Bond chase scenes collateral damage.

Something that was just weird and/or WTF y’all: How did Bond get his tux? It seems like he lifted it from an opera performer’s locker, but did he actually have a tux as his costume? Didn’t look like it from the scenes we caught of Tosca

Obligatory feminist commentary: I really appreciated the tender scene of Bond holding Matthis while he was dying, and it struck me that we see this again in Skyfall. Even though Craig is often credited with having an anti-hero swagger, I think he has an inner interior life we only really begin to appreciate in Skyfall. Building on the themes of M as a (reluctant) family figure… When Camille asks whether Greene tried to kill his mother, Bond replies “She’d like to think so” obviously referring to M.

I was trying to remember — I’m not sure if we’ve had any women acting out revenge narratives until now? On final reflection, this was the least amount of sexy times I’ve ever seen in a Bond movie — just some implied romps with Strawberry Fields and a chaste kiss with Camille at the end. Was he still nursing his sadness for Vesper or was it just because this script was a first draft (at best!)…?

Completely hypothetical cultural reference points: M’s debriefer is the Prime Minister from the first episode of Black Mirror. Also, did anyone else think the toppling of caskets off the top of the truck in Port Au Prince was an homage to the New Orleans funeral scene in Live and Let Die…? Obviously Strawberry Fields drowning in oil is the biggest self-referential scene of all time, back to Goldfinger.

Isn’t there another Bond movie where a bunch of people leave in the middle of some big public event? Or maybe some dystopian movie that came out in the last few years? Perhaps I’m having deja vu. I trawled the TV Tropes website in hopes of finding an answer, but came up short. If anyone can solve this riddle for me, I’d be grateful.

Superficial Thing that did not Amuse Me:  How the hell do they free fall through the air out of an airplane and Camille’s high heels are still on?

Superficial Thing that highly Amused Me: Love that M called the Americans’ bluff right away when they said Dominic Greene was not a person of interest — and in the next scene we see the American section chief meeting with him while Felix looks on. No matter how much sheen the American Empire loses, the Brits will never let us forget our inferiority when it comes to Bond movies.

Interesting and possibly dubious thing I learned from Wikipedia:  Amy Winehouse recorded a demo track for the movie

Martini rating:  Three martinis (under this guiding philosophy)

Administrative information concerning this viewing:
Drinks consumed: Sam Adams Old Fezziwig ale
Food eaten: Leftover soup
Viewed on: January 4, 2015
Viewing Partner: The Fiance and the cat

Image via Wikipedia

So. I am an unapologetic Daniel Craig fan. My only issue with him is that he makes me slightly misty for the quippiness of earlier Bonds like Roger Moore. But aside from that, he’s perfect. Earlier in the movie, Bond mentions he’s aware 00-agents have short life spans, which reminds me of the question of the continuity theory… but I’ll leave that continuing debate to the more passionate Bond fans.

The only downside to this movie is it’s just too damn long. Look, the world does not need a Bond movie that’s over 90 minutes. I wish the movie and publishing industry in general would realize that even in our oft-distracted culture, longer does not mean better. And what better place to turn the trend back to concision with the Bond franchise. One can hope, but Skyfall was also over 2 hours, so perhaps I shouldn’t hold my breath any time soon.

Plot in twenty words or less:  If Bond botches this big time poker game, the terrorists are going to win. Literally.

How it’s aged: This Bond is very post-9/11 War on Terror, especially when Bond taps into some NSA-like system to search “Ellipsis” in call/text log metadata, then M says that the administration doesn’t want to know what they do, just that they want them to do the dirty work. Sound familiar? The Bond torture scene when he finds out Mathis is a double-agent is very Guantanamo Bay/Abu Ghraib

I love the scene where Felix offers to stake 007 and turns down potential winnings — “Does it look like we need the money?” THANKS, AMERICA. It’s nice to see a cooler Felix.

Something that was just weird and/or WTF y’all: In the opening cobra vs. ferret scene, there’s totally a blond white surfer dude in the crowd of locals and it doesn’t appear to be a tourist destination..?

Obligatory feminist commentary: If I recall correctly (and this has been a long ride, so my memory isn’t infallible…) I believe this is the first time we see M’s apartment, when Bond breaks in. Without a doubt, Judi Dench will go down in Bond history as making M an actually interesting character as opposed to just window dressing. I do think showing M’s apartment is something that only happened for the first time because M was played by a woman in this particular title (insert feminist commentary here about the separate spheres of female life, the apartment as interior life, etc etc).

And then… OH MAH GAWD, James Bond said he loves someone! (to Vesper towards the end). And then a few scenes later he says he took care of “the bitch.” No matter how empowered Bond women get, ultimately they’re still all too often objects that get in the way of a clean mission. Which is why if the Broccoli family ever really wants to conduct a massive pop culture experiment in gender roles, they’d cast a woman as the next James Bond.

Completely hypothetical cultural reference points: Demetrios’ 1964 Aston-Martin key being put on the table at a poker game brings up shades of 60s Sean Connery Bond, and the end is very shades of On Her Majesty’s Secret Service.

Le Chiffre’s use of the inhaler reminds me of Dennis Hopper using the oxygen tank from Blue Velvet

Superficial Thing that did not Amuse Me:  When Vesper was crying in the shower, why was her makeup perfect?

Superficial Thing that highly Amused Me:  When the guy was going through Miami security, RICHARD BRANSON was totally being screened next to him. I made my Fiance go back and we rewatched the scene to be sure. If you don’t believe me, Google it.

Interesting and possibly dubious thing I learned from Wikipedia: Quentin Tarantino claimed to play a role in getting the movie off the ground.

Martini rating: Seven martinis

Administrative information concerning this viewing:

Drinks consumed: Great Lakes Oktoberfest

Food eaten: Stir-fried tofu with cabbage and carrots

Viewed on: November 22

Viewing Partner: The Fiance and the cat