Monthly Archives: July 2013

I apologize for this lackluster review, but really, can I be expected to put in much work compared to Sean Connery’s dialing it in for what was ultimately his last Bond movie? The only reason I even gave this one a 2 martini rating was because 1. It had the glorious Shirley Bassey back for the theme song, 2. I love Las Vegas and the shots of all the old casinos and Fremont Street were great, and 3. I’ve decided to reserve the 1 martini rating for Bond movies that are SO BAD I seriously consider not finishing watching them. So far that hasn’t happened. I’m looking forward to the next movie, Live and Let Die, which I’ve seen before and really enjoyed. Mostly because of the Sheriff from Da Parish. And I like Jane Seymour more as a Bond girl than as a gaudy jewelry shill. In other news, a big shout-out to Scott over at Blog, James Blog for pointing people towards Church of Bond. Thanks dude!

Plot in twenty words or less: Something about Diamond Smuggling and Las Vegas. Blofeld’s Diamond-Solar Panel-Ray Gun-Evil Weapons. Sean Connery dialing it in.

How it’s aged: Terribly. Nothing was that sexy in this movie, the implied-gay characters had to have been a bad caricature even in 1971, and then there’s that uncomfortable moment when you realize apartheid was still around when they’re showing the South African diamond miners. In this movie, the diamond conglomerates are the heroes for trying to avoid manipulation of the market, not the evil people we now mostly acknowledge them to be for doing the exact same thing the early premise of the movie is set against. Blog, James Blog also makes some great points about the anti-hero films that also came out that year, which puts DAF in a certain context I hadn’t considered before.

Something that was just weird and/or WTF y’all: So I think this is the first Bond movie that I can recall depicting male homosexuality (previously we’ve seen Rosa Klebb and Pussy Galore) with Mr. Wint and Mr. Kidd. I’m turning a critical eye way more to the depiction of gay characters in Bond films lately and Wint and Kidd make me cringe all over. At least Rosa Klebb had daggers in her shoes and Pussy Galore had a damn flying circus full of incredible female pilots. Wint and Kidd just have bad jokes, unfortunate hair, and an obsession with cologne. WTF.

Obligatory feminist commentary: Plenty O’Toole was a total missed opportunity. Really disappointed that she was such a total ditz – worse even than Honey Ryder. COME ON. But I did like the bad-assness of Bunny and Thumper and their crazy karate-gymnastics.

Completely hypothetical cultural reference points: The scene of Slumber Inc and the dials setting the show kinda-sorta-maybe reminded me of the pivotal scenes with Sol Roth in Soylent Green, which came out 2 years later.

Superficial Thing that did not Amuse Me: OK, in all honesty this kind of amused me but in a very annoyed way: WTF was up with James Bond attempting a disguise by faking a make out with himself, 5th grade boy style, when the real Peter Franks entered the apartment? Sorry but that doesn’t seem like Real Bond behavior.

Superficial Thing that highly Amused Me: Sasha Holiday and I burst out in gales of laughter when the duplicate cat came out of nowhere. BUAHAHAHA.

Interesting and possibly dubious thing I learned from Wikipedia: Lana Wood (who played Plenty O’Toole, and is the sister of actress Natalie Wood) almost drowned in the scene where O’Toole…drowned. Luckily she is a trained diver and someone noticed before things went even further downhill.

Martini rating: 2 martinis

Administrative information concerning this viewing:
Drinks consumed: Red Stripe

Food eaten: Black bean tacos

Viewed on: June 30, 2013

Viewing Partner: Sasha Holiday*

*Not her real name. All my viewing buddies are getting Bond-girl aliases.