Ugh, this might be my least favorite Bond movie since Diamonds Are Forever. I really should have written this review as soon as we finished watching the movie, because the storyline was so incomplete but also forgettable. I had to ask Boyfriend what went down in the movie so I could try to remember (usually I take pretty copious notes during Bond-viewing, but even my 3 pages of notes didn’t really help) some details as I sat down to write this review. Boyfriend saw my pathetic attempts at recapping the plot, so he made a guest contribution below. Also, it turns out that our flying car dreams may have a promising future.
Plot in twenty words or less: There is a golden gun. And a laser. A FLYING CAR. Plus, Sheriff J.W. Pepper.
Plot in twenty words or less, as told by The Boyfriend: Bond tracks down a hit man and ends up having to recover stolen solar energy technology.
How it’s aged: This movie has a lot of WELCOME TO THE 70s moments, perhaps most embodied by the shot of the minimally-covered derriere at Bottoms Up.
Something that was just weird and/or WTF y’all: Tying up Nick Nack on the mast of a ship was the cherry on top of a total WTF sundae of lots of things related to his character. One of our viewers was like, THAT NAME? REALLY?
Obligatory feminist commentary: Goodnight is officially the worst Bond girl so far. I have a foreboding sense the Bond girls are going to go downhill for the next several movies, but I really hope I’m wrong. The butt-kicking school girls who fought off dudes twice their size at the Generic Asian Martial Arts Lodge were pretty awesome, though.
Completely hypothetical cultural reference points: Between this movie and the last, there is definitely a whiff of the Dukes of Hazzard’s “General Lee bridge jump” going on anytime J.W. Pepper is in a car chase scene.
Superficial Thing that did not Amuse Me: The way they tossed the kid from the boat was really not cool
Superficial Thing that highly Amused Me: J.W. Pepper’s temper tantrum about not buying a Thai elephant souvenir because “It’s like the Democrats”
Interesting and possibly dubious thing I learned from Wikipedia: Christopher Lee was Ian Fleming’s step-cousin
Martini rating: Three martinis 
Administrative information concerning this viewing:
Drinks consumed: Red wine
Food eaten: Spiced nuts
Viewed on: October 12, 2013
Viewing Partner: Boyfriend, Sasha Holiday, Dominic LeFihre*
*Not her/his real name. All my viewing buddies are getting Bond-girl/Bond-baddie aliases.