I bet you thought I had totally checked out from this project, huh? Truth be told, life has been a little crazy lately, and the increasing monotony of Roger Moore hasn’t helped inspire me to crank out this last review (and I should make it clear that Roger Moore is easily my 2nd favorite Bond after Daniel Craig). Plus, baseball season has started and, you know, priorities.
I actually watched A View to a Kill several weeks ago, and never got around to writing the review. So I watched it a second time to finally get it over with. I’m ready for a change, though I’m not sure if Timothy Dalton is the one I’m looking for.
Plot in twenty words or less: The Soviets are totally going to destroy Silicon Valley. Also they have the technology for a crazy microchip.
How it’s aged: Yeah, this is very obviously from the 1980s, but at least there are far fewer cringeworthy retrograde moments of prejudice. Bond’s still going skiing, and the credits have some ridiculous blacklight makeup going on. On the other hand, we get 80s icon Grace Jones as Mayday who literally and metaphorically kicks several categories of ass.
Something that was just weird and/or WTF y’all: Leave it to the Brits to find any excuse to make fun of the French. Their most prominent pot shot was the French taxi driver getting his wine on behind the wheel while idling outside the Eiffel Tower.
Obligatory feminist commentary: Alright, we had 3 fairly distinct ladies to work with here, all of whom represent distinct and well-established lady archetypes in the Bond cannon. Moneypenny is just getting tragically frumpy. Mayday as the villain lady is amazing, but in true Bond-ian fashion, is betrayed by the guy she should have never trusted, and saved by 007 at her moment of vulnerability. Sutton, Bond girl, becomes Bond’s sexy sidekick and partner in adventures, but also is ultimately rescued by him during a MAJOR SCENE.
Completely hypothetical cultural reference points: Moneypenny at the horse races almost has an Eliza Doolittle moment.
Superficial Thing that did not Amuse Me: The Beach Boys track during the skiing scene was so cheeseball I actually got sort of mad and wanted to just skip the next two Bonds and go straight to Daniel Craig.
Superficial Thing that highly Amused Me: I loved how in the beginning of the movie, Christopher Walken was trying not to be Christopher Walken. But by the end of the movie, he turned back into Christopher Walken. Also, product placement started getting ridiculous a few movies ago, but there’s something really special about making a molotov cocktail out of a giant handle of Bacardi.
Interesting and possibly dubious thing I learned from Wikipedia: Christopher Walken was the third choice for Zorin — after David Bowie (!!!) and Sting.
Martini rating: Four martinis 
Administrative information concerning this viewing:
Drinks consumed: Mt Carmel Springtime Ale
Food eaten: The spinach and strawberry salad leftovers from dinner at Mom’s
Viewed on: April 13, 2014
Viewing Partner: Just me and The Cat